Tech talk: Monitoring kids’ activities
Cherry Hill Sun
8/2/2007

Last week, The Sun provided parenting tips from community members in response to our request to start a community dialogue. This week, the tips continue, centering on how parents can educate themselves about the technology their kids use, as well as how to use technology to monitor their actions.

Below are tips compiled from responses from The Sun’s readers. We’ve kept the submissions anonymous, so your kids won’t uncover your best spy secret.

If you would like to send more tips, comments and questions, please do so by e-mail to news@cherryhillsun.com or by fax to (856) 427-0934.

‘Parent-ware’

“Parent-ware” (aka spyware for parents) has been around for many years. Amazingly, many educated parents do not seem to know much about these tools, but when they hear of them, most parents do want them, especially the parents of at-risk or troubled kids.

So we have to help educate each other, and we cannot fall victim to denial or fear of exposing ourselves as less than perfect parents. Reading books on these topics may be helpful, but parent-to-parent education and assistance is faster and perhaps more helpful.

Most parents do not understand Internet profile pages such as Myspace. One thing parents need to know is that they can request the company remove a child’s page if the child is resistant to do so. Another thing parents should know about these profile pages is that if a child has a profile page, then their child can visit and post things on another child’s page, and those postings are open for others to see and download as well.

So it is not just a child’s page that is in need of viewing – you have to check the pages they visited, too.

Parent-ware is perhaps the best tool for a parent to have in terms of ease of use and effectiveness. Without parent-ware, trying to find a child’s profile page is like finding a needle in a haystack. Also, many pages are set to “private” so it is impossible to view all that is on a page, and one has to assume they know all of their child’s profile pages, passwords, accounts, screen names and their friends’ screen names. Kids today use hard to identify screen names as well as character icons as their “photo” making it hard to know who is who.

With parent-ware, a parent can capture it all. A parent can know for sure who their child is talking to, what is being said by all parties, and what is being viewed. Having this software installed also allows time-strapped parents to know what is going on in their child’s world without having to become consumed with being a detective every day. A parent can choose to look as often as they want, when they want and as far back as they need or want.

Other computer tools

There are other computer tools parents should know about, such as routers that can be installed that actually allow parents to block access to certain sites such as Myspace and Facebook.

A parent can start by blocking a few known problematic sites, but as they see their child visiting other undesirable sites via the parent-ware, then a parent can add those sites as blocked on the router.

These routers are probably the best firewalls and virus and spam fighters as well. Installing these routers along with parent-ware is a winning combination.

For parents who are less computer savvy, ask a knowledgeable friend, or even a computer consultant, to come to your home and help you install all these items and teach you how to use them.

Cell phones

Today, it is good that a parent can so easily be in touch with their child, but many kids are using cell phones and text messaging in undesirable ways. Like instant messangers, text messages are gone and cannot be seen later.

Having the text message option totally removed from your child’s cell phone can prevent this. If the phone store tells you it can’t be done, be persistent because it can. A parent needs to know where their child is for safety reasons.

Unfortunately, unlike landlines, a child calling from a cell phone does not reveal where a child is actually calling from.

A child can tell a parent they are one place but really be somewhere they are not supposed to be, and an unsuspecting parent would not know.

One tool to combat this may include getting GPS cell phones. Being able to see both outgoing and incoming telephone numbers on a bill is helpful in some cases, because if ever the need arises, a parent can trace telephone numbers through reverse look up companies.

Drinking and drug prevention

- Don’t leave your children home alone. Work less. Don’t be self-absorbed with your hobbies or gyms.

- Parents should limit and track money and possessions of their children.

Schools can help by having a MAC type charge system installed in their lunch rooms, eliminating the need for kids to bring cash.

- Schools should also eliminate cell phone use in the schools. If caught, consequences should follow.

Many kids use their phones as ways to obtain substances or make plans to meet after school to do such.

Check your kids’ cell phone bills. Know their friends’ numbers and find out who the numbers you don’t know belong to. Also, view photos your child may keep on their phone.

- Parents should educate themselves about what drugs are on our streets, the signs and symptoms, and what delivery system kids use so you can recognize paraphernalia.

For example, did you know kids hollow out cigars and fill them with marijuana? They also eat marijuana and bake it into brownies.

- For parents who choose to keep alcohol in their homes, make sure it is under some sort of locked system and not accessible.

Kids are filling seemingly harmless water bottles with gin and vodka.

Some sell these bottles on the street for $20. Some kids will even bring these alcohol filled bottles in to your home – without you even knowing it – putting a homeowner at great risk.

- When troubles arise, be honest and seek professional help when needed.

Do not let things go on for too long. It is best to nip things in the bud before they become serious addictions.